Promises
by Flower Mother
Summary: Namjoon makes it a point to keep his promises. alt: The five times Namjoon keeps his promises, and the one time he doesn't.


Oaths/ Promises

1

The first time Namjoon promises Yoongi something, they're 10 years old and Namjoon promises him that they'll always be friends.

It's a Sunday night, and the two are lying in bed, ready for sleep but not quite there yet. There was no school tomorrow, so a sleepover had been arranged, mostly due to Yoongi's urging. And in typical child fashion, they had delayed going to sleep until they could barely keep their eyes open.

"Hey Namjoon." Yoongi calls out to him, voice soft and rounded off with sleep. And Namjoon's sleepy too, a long day of playing wearing down on his young body. He hums in question all the same, struggles to open his eyes so he can look at Yoongi next to him. "Will you be my friend even when we're all grown up?"

The question surprises Namjoon more than he lets on. His young mind had naturally assumed that it was a given that they would be friends forever. He doesn't question Yoongi though, and instead provides him with an answer. "I promise we'll be friends forever Yoongi."

2

The second time Namjoon promises Yoongi something, they're 16 and they've just kissed for the first time.

It's a Friday night, and they're both drunk, too drunk to think properly. They're drunk and they're young and they kiss for the first time. Or, really, it's Yoongi that kisses Namjoon. They're too drunk to go home, so they're sitting in the park, giggling about something stupid. They're laughing and talking and suddenly Yoongi kisses him. Yoongi kisses him and Namjoon kisses back and five minutes later they stop kissing and Yoongi starts talking.

"This can't mean anything Joon-ah, it can't mean anything-" And Namjoon may be drunk, but he knows what rejection feels like. "We're too drunk for it to mean anything." How is Yoongi so calm? Ah, but he isn't the one whose heart is breaking. "Joon-ah, listen, listen- Kiss me tomorrow when we wake up. Promise me Joon-ah, Namjoon, Namjoon you gotta promise me." His words are slurred, and Namjoon is tired, but he focuses on Yoongi all the same.

"I promise. Tomorrow. I'll kiss you. But first I think I'm gonna be sick." And then they're laughing again, and Namjoon feels high, less from the alcohol and more from Yoongi. They go home not long after (home here is Namjoon's dorm room), and fall asleep together on Namjoon's cramped bed, and the next morning Namjoon kisses Yoongi, morning breath and all. They kiss for what feels like hours and Namjoon doesn't ever want to stop.

3

The third time Namjoon promises Yoongi something, they're 21 and Namjoon's leaving.

It's a Tuesday afternoon, and the two are at the airport, saying their goodbyes. Namjoon's leaving for America for the semester to study abroad, and leaving Yoongi behind. Except not really, because he's only going to be gone for six months, and then he'll come back. But still, Yoongi's making a big deal out of it and clinging to Namjoon.

"Yoongi, I'll only be gone for six months." Yoongi isn't letting go though, arms wrapped around Namjoon's torso. His face is hidden in Namjoon's chest, and he's refusing to let go, and Namjoon can't help but hold onto him.

"Joon-ah, I need you to promise me something." Yoongi lifts his head up so he can look at Namjoon, and his cheeks are a little puffed, and his eyebrows are furrowed together, and he'd look angry if he wasn't so cute. "Promise me you'll still love me when you come back." And, God, Namjoon would promise Yoongi the world if he asked.

"I promise I'll still love you when I come back." Namjoon leans down and gives Yoongi a quick kiss, and he has to let go, but he doesn't want to. "I'll be late for my flight if you don't let me go."

"Good, then you won't have to leave." He lets go though, leans up and gives Namjoon another kiss before pulling back. "Let me know as soon as you're settled." Namjoon nods, kisses him again and then he really does have to leave.

Namjoon keeps his promise, texts Yoongi as soon as he's in the dorm. He keeps his other promise too, loves Yoongi even more when he comes back six months later.

4

The fourth time Namjoon promises Yoongi something, they're 25 and fighting.

It's a Thursday night, and Namjoon and Yoongi are fighting. It's not like the two never fight, but it's never been this serious. Their fights have always been about meaningless things, always ended with them slowly gravitating back towards one another and apologizing. This time it's different. This time they're going at each other's throats, screaming insults they don't mean, attacking spots they know are sore. They're fighting as if they hate each other, when that isn't true, couldn't be farther from the truth. They're fighting as if it will solve anything, as if it will solve everything.

And in the middle of all this fighting, Namjoon says something he doesn't mean. Promises something he never wanted to promise. "Oh, I promise you Yoongi, you won't see me tomorrow!" He yells this as he's walking out of their apartment, slams the door for good measure, and leaves. He walks for what feels like hours, turns his phone off after Yoongi calls him four times, and ends up at his friend's apartment. He doesn't return home the following morning, doesn't turn his phone on either.

He doesn't see Yoongi until Sunday night, when he shows up on his friend's door, drenched from the rain. And Namjoon wants to argue that his face isn't wet just from the rain, but he isn't as brave as to make that assumption. They stand silently for several moments, and Namjoon doesn't want to cave in first, because it wasn't his fault, and Yoongi needs to learn to admit to his mistakes.

"I'm sorry Joon-ah, I'm sorry- I just- You were gone and-" He's stumbling over his words and he looks like he's about to cry and Namjoon just wants to hug him and kiss him and hold him and forgive him.

"I was working Yoongi…" Yoongi looks guilty now, and Namjoon almost feels sorry. Almost.

"I know… I overreacted because I miss you. That isn't an excuse! I just- I know what I did was wrong… And I'm sorry. So, will you please come home?" And Namjoon can never deny Yoongi anything. So he goes home and they talk and they do better.

5

The fifth time Namjoon promises Yoongi something, they're 30 and Namjoon just got fired.

It's a Monday evening when Namjoon comes home, a box in his hands and the weight of the world on his shoulders. Yoongi's already home when he comes back, and Namjoon is not looking forward to this conversation. Finding a job is difficult, and it isn't like they're sitting on enough money for just Yoongi to support them. Namjoon half expects a fight, but Yoongi has changed and instead they sit down and Yoongi comforts him and assures him that they will be okay.

"Namjoon, I'm gonna need you to promise me something, okay?" They've changed positions, and Namjoon is now lying down with his head in Yoongi's lap, Yoongi's fingers tangled in his hair in an attempt to ease his anxiety. "Promise me that we won't give up just because it gets hard. Promise me that we'll fight." And Yoongi doesn't often ask Namjoon to promise him things, and he looks almost scared, a little worried maybe.

"I promise you Yoongi, I won't give up on this just because I got fired. I'll fight even if it kills me." Namjoon thinks that Yoongi knows, on some level, that no matter what he asks for, Namjoon would promise him anything. He thinks that maybe that's why he doesn't ask Namjoon for many promises, maybe he's afraid Namjoon won't be able to keep his promise one day. Namjoon is determined to never let that day come.

+1

The last time Namjoon promises Yoongi something, they're 37 and Namjoon has just proposed.

It's a Saturday evening, and Namjoon has never been happier. He has been planning this for weeks now, took his time in choosing a simple ring that was worthy of Yoongi, spent even longer saving up for it. Planning the dinner took some work too, but seeing the smile on Yoongi's face is worth it. He makes a lot of promises to Yoongi as he offers him the ring. He promises to always love him, to keep fighting for him even when it's tough, to always stay by his side.

He doesn't get to keep his promises.

Three weeks after proposing, on a Wednesday morning, Namjoon and Yoongi arrange a breakfast date. It's at a little café they used to frequent when they were still young, and it's out of the way, but Namjoon can't say no when Yoongi smiles at him. So Namjoon agrees and heads there as soon as he's done with his night shift. He's running late though, so he takes a short cut. He takes a short cut and it proves to be the worst decision he's ever made. He doesn't feel the truck hit him, not really. He doesn't feel his body hit the ground, doesn't hear the screaming around him. All he feels, all he can think of in his last moments is Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi.


End file.
